We were in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want, so I said What do you want, sweetheart? and you said Kiss me. Here I am leaving you clues. I am singing now while Rome burns. We are all just trying to be holy. My applejack, my silent night, just mash your lips against me. We are all going forward. None of us are going back.
My days were bombarded with quizzes and presentations and deadlines. All quizzes are over and done with, so are the csas2 research project presentation and impromptu speech. Fyes that impromptu's over. It's so scary not knowing what question will be out and given just 5 minutes to prepare the speech outline and up you go, crapping in front of the whole class. Mine wasn't that bad, got one on plastic surgery muahahahhaa (y).
2 weeks to cny and 2 weeks to... Le sigh.
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Sometimes, I feel that I am such a failure. A full-fledged nothing. I try to think of something that I am good at but no, nothing. Does crapping and being lame and self-entertaining and laughing at the slightest thing counted as something to be proud of?
Wish I can do something about this.
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This space is getting really gloomy and boring. Not good at all. I will do a proper entry when I have the ~feel~. One on why I try to be cheery but end up gloomy. I can be unhappy here because this is my space, it's up to me to decide whatever's written here.
Bile and acid runs up my throat setting it on fire. My heart is turning cold. Everything is in a whirl my vision is illuminated. I am falling into the black bottomless pit with hands reaching out but nothing is within my reach nothing to hold on to and so I let myself fall..